Christy Whitman is a master coach and energy healer a New York Times, best selling author of seven books and the founder of the Quantum Success Coaching Academy, which she founded in 2008, and which has since certified over 3000 law of attraction coaches. For more info, visit christywhitman.com.
Transcript
Jean: Alison!
Alison: Here we are!
Jean: We made it.
Alison: We did, we did. You had a busy morning.
Jean: I did have a busy morning. I was taking my friend, well, our friend Kathleen to look at some possible, uh, retirement homes.
Alison: That’s beautiful. Yeah. It’s so great that you’re doing that. I think always doing it with a friend is excellent.
Jean: Yeah..I think doing anything like that with someone, uh, that way you can bounce off ideas.
Alison: Right. And so, did did you see this? Yeah. I didn’t see that, I saw that. Did you see this? Yeah, I love that. And you’re the perfect person to do that with. You and Kathleen are such a good team.
Jean: Well I mean, I do love her so, and I know the right and perfect place will be revealed to her..
Alison: Because you’re going to manifest that.
Jean: Because I’m going to hold the energy.
Alison: Correct.
Jean: Yes, and be open and receptive to having this desire already filled.
Alison: That’s right. And that is exactly what we’re talking about today with Christy Whitman. She wrote a fantastic book called The Desire Factor-.
Jean: How to Embrace Your Materialistic Nature, to Reclaim your full Spiritual Power.
Alison: That’s a beautiful sentence.
Jean: Yeah. Isn’t it though? Yeah. Uh, so I love how she links the physical world to the spiritual world. And I and I know we’re going to receive a lot of benefit from our interview with her.
Alison: Right. It’s going to be great. So, are you ready?
Jean: I’m ready.
Alison: All right, here we go.
Alison: And you’re like, oh, hi!…
Christy Whitman: I love it. I love it, you guys.. I come on and you’re both laughing. That’s amazing.
Alison: We’re always we’re always laughing.
Christy Whitman: That’s it, I love it. Then I’m in the right place. Hi.
Alison: Hi, how are you? I’m Allison.
Christy Whitman: Hi, Allison.
Jean: I’m. My name is Jean.
Christy Whitman: And hi, Jean.
Jean: We have been so excited to talk with you about your wonderful book.
Christy Whitman: Oh thank you, I love that, I love that.
Alison: I have so many questions. Um, so I was saying to Jean, wait a minute… How does this work this way? How does this happen? So you, can you just sum up the thought process and the idea of this book for our listeners?
Christy Whitman: Yes, so we have desires that come from an inspired place. And when we deny those desires like, oh, I don’t know how I’m too old, you know, I’m too young, I don’t have this, I don’t have that… I’ll have it when. I have it….. Then all of that takes us away from that connection of what the desire actually creates for us. (So excuse me, plane flying over head) so it’s never about, and yet it is, the end desire– it’s the process of who we become in it, in attaining that desire or not. It’s always the process of who we, who we get to become. So sometimes, you know, we wish for something or desire for something, and then later we’re like, thank God that didn’t happen, you know?
Jean: Right, like that saying you be careful what you wish for.
Christy Whitman: Yes, exactly.
Alison: Or like when people when something doesn’t happen, a lot of my friends will say that was the biggest blessing that that didn’t happen.
Christy Whitman: Yes, there’s a Garth Brooks song. Thank God for unanswered prayers.
Alison: Yes, yes. Yeah, that’s exactly it. And you have such good. You have, um, like seven principles to follow, and some of them are so interesting to me. Like, like the principle of having, do you know, is so interesting because you don’t realize that sometimes you’re wishing for something is actually reinforcing lack.
Christy Whitman: Yes. It’s a feeling of separation… Because that feeling of, um, I’ll have it when or I’ll have it then, it’s always delaying that vibration, you know, it’s like it’s not part of us. We’ll have it later. Or we say when that happens or, um, even when the client the other day, she’s like, well, I could feel something’s going to be happening or something’s going to happen. And it’s like, no, something’s already happening. you know what I mean? It’s it’s the it’s the field of whatever my desire is, as I can picture it, I’m already creating an energetic connection to it– and you know, and then that starts the whole thing of it. But the principle of having is where you’re already in such a contented place with it and you feel so fulfilled, there’s no like, oh, I wish I had it, or, you know, I’d be complete if or when or any of that you have it so you can feel settled on your way to it. When it manifests in the physical, it’s always energy first, right?
Jean: Yeah, Well, what you just said there, it’s always energy first…. And I think what you just said is, is the crux of your book, you know, getting your energy in alignment, uh, with, with your desire, whatever your desire is..so like you say, if it’s a Gucci purse or if it’s, um, you know, a wellness center, whatever that is. And, um, can you talk a little bit just for our listeners, like what made you become so passionate about this field of study?
Christy Whitman: Well, you know, it was a religious science practitioner, like yourself, Jean. I was on a journey of, you know, the traditional… I graduated from college. I got engaged, you know, I did this, this, this and this. And I thought, then I will finally be happy, you know…
Christy Whitman: I actually did have a moment, I had a moment in my life when I was in Capri, and I saw all of the beautiful designer, purses…like, Fendi and that was like, oh, but I haven’t another than that… I haven’t experienced that. But, um, I was waiting for that, right, and it’s like, wait, I checked everything off and I’m still not happy, you know? So if it’s not all these things I was told or I thought or I assumed, then what is it? And that that just opened up my hunger, my thirst. And we’re talking almost 30 years ago. Um, um, where, you know, I was doing traditional therapy and it was like, there’s got to be something even more. I feel like I’m still missing something. And that hunger, that thirst led me to, um, move to California. And I met a hairdresser who was just so different, and I didn’t have the words I could explain and describe now. But I didn’t have the words back then. But I was just observing her and noticing that she was so light filled and there was just something different about her. And so finally being as curious and as blunt as I am, I’m like, okay, what did you what do you do? And she says, I meditate. And at this point in time I was like a very sheltered girl from Scottsdale, Arizona. You know, middle class family went to ASU, you know, like moved to Chicago, like I had a very sheltered life and I didn’t know anybody at this point who meditated.
Christy Whitman: And back then we didn’t have the internet. And, you know, if you didn’t see it happening, it didn’t exist. Right? But it wasn’t on TV. It didn’t really exist. Right? I mean, so that when she said she meditated, it was like my mind went to like, some guru guy… with a long white beard, sitting in Yogi style on top of a mountain. It was like my brain went, you know? And she was this hip chick from San Ramon, California, had a boyfriend, a dog, you know, living a normal life. And so she she taught me about her, talked to me about her meditation because I was like that woman in Harry met Sally, you know, because I was like, I want what she’s having. Right… I’m like, I don’t care who it was, how she got it, I wanted it. So, um, I literally left the salon. She gave me her meditation teachers number, left the salon, and back in the day, there was a big phones. Right. I’m dialing it and left a message, and I came to her house. It was a couple of weeks later and I walk in and she’s got angel statues and clinky clunky music and incense and, you know, she invites me to sit on the floor on a cushion and I am going, Scottsdale, Arizona. I was like, what? What? I mean, this is so weird for me, right? Right. Um, but she looked like deep into my eyes and into my soul like nobody ever did.
Christy Whitman: And she just said, you create your own reality. And when again, I had never heard that. And when she said that, something in me opened up and I went, yes, how? Yeah, I that is true. I create. And then my mind went, well how do I how do I create my own reality? And that’s where I started with thoughts and paying attention to thoughts. And then I was just so hungry that I went, when I moved to Redding, California, I happened to go to the church of Redding, uh, religious science. And Terry Cole-whittaker came and spoke. And you know, (btw,she endorsed my very first book) when she spoke, i sat there, you know, in the morning, just ready to go to church and, you know, get uplifted. I was mesmerized by her, because she had so much passion and just just a light in her. And I was, you know, my mind was like back then (i don’t do this at least as much.) I try not to, um, but I was comparing myself to her. I’m like, I don’t have that passion in my life, what lights her up, because I certainly don’t have that. It was another one of those, i’ll have what she’s having moments. Right. And, uh, she was very, very generous and very courteous. And, um, she had bought, she was selling this workbook to how to learn about these things called, the universal laws.
Christy Whitman: And I had been meditating and I had been practicing, but one of the laws that she talked about, which absolutely changed my reality in that moment, was the law of sufficiency and abundance. I just started applying that and really studying what is lack? What is abundance? What you know, and understanding. Where do I do it? In my consciousness, meaning what I say, what I think, how I feel? And, um, she was graciousness, gracious enough because I got to a place where all of a sudden I had a download in the middle of the night, in which I got up and started, you know, writing. And that’s where I first started, you know, channeling and scribing and, um, after three days of being woken up at 1:05 in the morning and getting, getting up and and writing, I emailed Terry Cole-whittaker and I said, I think I’m writing a book. How do you get a book published? And she she guided me. She literally said, go online and find a literary agent. So I typed in literary agent, not pop this guy’s face. And he was a publisher and a literary agent. And, you know, on and on it went. I got it published. And then I started speaking on the topics and helping people do the energy work. And then people asked me to coach, and I had no idea what coaching was. This is 23 years ago… Life coaching. I’m like people would describe it to me and I’m like, people get paid to do that?
Christy Whitman: Like, you know, like call me on the phone and I’ll walk you through it, you know? So it just it just kept leading into each. It was just that seeking and leaning in and wanting to grow and wanting to still continue to expand. And it was all based on even what I wrote about in The Desire Factor, the desire to stay in light, the desire to serve. Um, one thing I want to mention is that during this time when I started opening up, my sister, who was 11 years older than me, took her life. And that moment literally just, change the world as I knew it… And at the same time was the first opportunity I had to really apply what I was learning to be able to really, um, be with sadness or be with anger, you know, really, really process my emotions as energy and not let them just, you know, get stuck in there. And, um, doing that helped me realize that, if I could do, help one person, you know, not have to go through what she had to go through or, you know, she didn’t feel she had the resources or the support in order to get. I hope that I help and I now look back on my, you know, 17 year, full time but 23 year career of an author, and and I think I’ve helped more than one. So it feels really good to know that that you know, that kind of sparked it all.
Alison: So what a beautiful what a beautiful story. And I’m so sorry about your sister.
Christy Whitman: Thank you.
Alison: So so sorry. Um, you know, uh, I’m going to be full disclosure, so Jean’s laughing already because she knows I, um. When I first started reading the book, I felt a certain amount of resistance, because I feel like, um, when, you describe a lot of personal things in the book, your son being transverse, your son’s operations. And I thought, well, how great for you, honestly, how beautiful that it worked out. But there’s a woman somewhere that it didn’t work out, maybe doing the same exact things that you’re doing. And my fear is, does that person feel, Ohhh I really screwed up? I should have just been…. I let fear come in. I let doubt come in into my thoughts. I wanted my son to be in the right position for the birth and I, I, I connected, and I felt like it was going to happen and then it doesn’t. I feel shy about the idea of putting it on the person, because they’re all really feeling bad already.
Christy Whitman: Yes, yes.
Alison: Can you help me with that?
Christy Whitman: Yes, So first of all, I love that you’re you’re asking this question. I love that you’re bringing this up because that’s why in the book, and I believe the journey that I went through in writing that book and the examples that I use about, you know, beat Shazam and wanting to go out, like having a desire and not having it come to fruition.
Alison: Yes…That’s fantastic.
Christy Whitman: In the end, you know, it’s like if someone could look at the book and I actually had people go, well, then it didn’t work. You, you had this desire and you applied all the principles and the thing that you ultimately wanted to do when applying these principles is get on this show. But you didn’t get on the show. You didn’t ultimately win the million dollars. Right? I’m talking, you know. Right. so, um, but the energy that was created in applying these principles, it didn’t come in that form, but it came in other forms and in other opportunities. And, you know, so a lot of times we get very attached to it looks like this, or it has to be that, or I really want this. And when that form doesn’t, you know, we don’t hit the exact target or it’s not this thing or that doesn’t manifest, know that the energy never gets wasted, right? That just gets like to be the, the focus. But the energy is still set up. So, you know, when someone is and especially if someone has something that is, you know, traumatic or where they’re deeply grieving it, like it could be a loss. The way to work with this whole entire thing of energy is understanding that there are energies or there are, um, emotions. Let’s just call it, like look at it like a piano keyboard, right? There are lower level vibrations there are higher level of vibrations.
Christy Whitman: And there are universal things like grief. And it could be a grief of I didn’t hit that, I didn’t get that manifestation. So there’s a let down, right? or there’s a there’s another level of disappointment. There’s grief happens. Even when we we wanted that house made an offer on that house. We visualize ourselves in that house and then someone else gets it. And now there’s that letdown, right? That emotion, that letdown, that anything that’s in negative, lower level emotions. Right. There’s processes to help us release those energies so that we can come back and be neutral. Because if I, if I look at and how I interpret, interpreted and have lived with what I learned from Terry Cole-whittaker is that it’s the law of sufficiency and abundance. So if we’re feeling bad, you know, and we’re, say, disappointed with something, but we don’t process that disappointment, that disappointment creates an imprint to create more attachments or more attraction to more things that disappoint us, more people or situations, because that’s the vibration that we’re at. So we need to process those lower level energies. And we don’t do that by going, ah, you dummy, why did you put yourself out there again? Oh, see, things don’t work out for you, might work out for her, but it doesn’t work out for you. You know, other people get what they want… like all of those beliefs, all that stuff.
Christy Whitman: So it’s not a time to beat yourself up. It’s a time to let yourself have compassion. And compassion is that second bucket, if you will. Like the the lack that never feels good. My cliff notes version of of lack. You know you you’re in lack because you do not feel good. It always feels bad.. It just feels horrible. But then thoughts of abundance, right? Something you’re excited about, something that’s, you know, look, you’re looking forward to something, you know, you have an abundance of something that always feels good. But a lot of times it’s hard to go from lack into abundance. So that sufficiency and abundance, it’s that second bucket of compassion, sufficiency. Sometimes it’s just saying to yourself ah, okay, I’m okay. Like that moment of, it’s going to be okay, like that, take your breath, ground yourself. That allows you to come back into that neutrality, so that you can then have the higher vibrations available. Because if we’re in lack, they’re not available. They’re in two different vibrational scales. It goes back to that conversation we were having with having. If you’re want you’re wanting love, abundance, success, you know, freedom, whatever that is. And you’re in like, I don’t have, I’m lonely. I, you know, I don’t have enough. Oh, God, what about the future… When you’re in there, which a lot of people do, and and and believe me, I lived with master teachers of that.
Speaker2: My mom and dad are like the masters of that… you could be in Paradise and still complain, you know? So I learned from the best and I was, you know, I, I really had to disconnect myself from that. And still, you know, I always equate it to like, a junk drawer. You clean out the junk drawer, and then somehow you still, like, it junks back up like… Yeah. So it’s like every once in a while, I still got it, you know, putting out my junk drawer and of of thinking in lack or, you know, projecting into a future that is scary or, you know, I’m worried about because, we have access to all this energy we have access to, to just the energy of calm, peace, compassion, soothing. And then once we’re there, calming whatever we need to calm, you know, then we can look towards, okay, what do I want this future? Because our now is creating our future, and our past has a big influence on that future. Based on what are we holding it or are we letting it go? We surrendering it? Are we staying stuck in that negative energy and staying stuck in that lack? Or are we finding our neutrality back into that, okay, this is sufficient. This is okay. I’m all right. Right. Yeah. And then proceed from there.
Alison: So, so glad you said that. I’m so glad you explained that. Because when I got to the end of the book, I was like, yay!
Alison: Like, it’s perfect about the surrender. I was so happy that you that you summed it up that way. And you know, we have we have a mutual friend that wanted a boyfriend more than anything, more than anything. And once she said to me, I have no love in my life, I have no love in my life. And I said, you have two kids. And she’s like, yeah, but that’s different. And I said, it’s like, I think what I loved about what you said, is you you have abundance… It may not be what you look, it looks like over here- but she did have love in her life. And the minute she kind of leaned into that, this boyfriend popped in.
Christy Whitman: That’s how it happens.
Jean: Yeah, that’s how it happens. But also, the same friend we’re thinking about, um, also when she said, and i remember the day she acknowledged, she said, you know what? If I never get a guy, I’m okay. I am enough. And then literally, she, I don’t know what happened–.
Christy Whitman: Just in a minute. And now they’re so happy… Yeah. And it’s exciting.
Christy Whitman: It is because, you know, it’s like once you get into that– I’m not desperate. I had a client, God bless her,she was just so cute. One time she said to me, listen, I have a vision board. I have my affirmations, I’m doing my meditations. I am fully like, you know, I am into it. And she’s like, where is he? I’ve been waiting forever. You know, it was like, that’s a totally different vibration. You know, you got still that that if it’s impatient and there’s desperation that’s still a vibration– it’s called split energy. So it’s like, I want to but, I want them but, you know, he’s here I feel him but he’s not you know, it’s that split energy and it’s acknowledging that part, that part that is impatient because when we can go, okay, what are you impatient about? What’s the i gotta have them now because I’m not… I’m not enough or my life can’t start until. Or all the things that we say… Until we have that amount of money, or we have that accomplishment, or we’ve gone on that show and did this or that or, you know, whatever the thing we project out and that’s, I mean, that’s really the key to life.
Christy Whitman: I have a dear friend who, um, has been financially very abundant. Her husband retired in his 30s. They, you know, had lived a very affluent life and just recently had, um, you know, it was a –it’s a different way of life. And so they don’t have a house anymore, which, you know, they they’re renting a house, but they don’t have that security that she used to feel and dependent to. And she’s saying, well, I can’t feel secure again until we have a house. And I’m like, but you’re you’re basically putting what you have accessible and available to you right now. And what you choose is to feel how you want to feel. You, of all people, know what it feels like to be secure. There’s a lot of people out there that have had financial, you know, despair all their life and they can’t connect to that feeling of affluence or, you know, abundance, or they have a harder time because they just don’t know how. But you’ve already have that those memories of that security, of that love of freedom, the passion, whatever it may be for any of us and and being able to connect in as best as we can. That’s where that, you know, almost like that, f…ake it till you make it. When you’re working with energy, you don’t have to fake it, because if you start imagining it and then you start partnering with that energy, it’s very real.
Speaker2: And then you’re so satisfied that that’s where, yes, you still have to take action as part of us in our roles and, you know, part of our consciousness. We move, we have a behavior, we do something. We are a cooperative, like we say in the book. Right? It’s like we’re a cooperative component in the manifestation, right? There’s life force moving through us individually and collectively. So to create, you know, to have experiences, to expand into love to I mean, there’s a lot of reasons, but moving in that direction of focusing on what we want and why we want it, and then feeling as if we have it now, I’m secure now. That then draws it to us instead of repels it from us. And most people are living like that. I’ll be happy when you know when this happens, or I feel like you know something’s gonna happen. It’s, it’s always out in the future in which we’re disconnected from. And like you were saying about your friend, she connected in, it was like it surrendered it. And and it’s like, you know what? Wait. I do have love. I do have freedom. I do have security. I do have abundance. Look for what we do have what’s right and good is the way to go into more abundance.
Alison: That’s beautiful.
Jean: Yeah. Beautifully said. Um, I want to circle back to something you said before, Christy, about, when you’re not feeling good. You are entertaining thoughts of lack and fear. Something to that effect, right? I think, I think that’s so powerful because it shows, you know, that our bodies are, um, tools to to guide us. Hey, I’m feeling really low right now. What am I thinking? I mean, it takes that time to say, oh, I’m, i’m actually worried about my child right now. I’m worried about the stock market. I’m worried about if I’m going to find a place for my mother to live, you know, and that’s huge.
Christy Whitman: It’s everything. It’s everything. Because when you really think about it, and this is what I love about what the council brought through, who I’m a messenger for…. when you really break it down, it’s like we’re only responsible, and the only thing we really can control is our own consciousness. And what is our consciousness if we really break it down, it’s what we say, the very words that we say have power, right? The thoughts that we think and entertain, the conversations we’re having in our heads, the images, you know that the even just the self images, how I hold myself in relation to– it could be money, success, a relationship, whatever it may be when we see ourselves, in a successful relationship with money, career, whatever it is, then we usually manifest it. But if we are fighting it or can’t see that, can’t connect with it in our consciousness, it’s so far away from us. Or it’s almost like you’re talking about another life or another human being– someday when you know. Right? So it’s it’s our words, our thoughts, our pictures, our images, our beliefs. Right? Perspectives. There’s lots of way of saying that, our emotions, our feelings and then our actions and beyond that, anything else that spirals around us and in our orbit… it’s our, um, energetic attachment that creates a reaction from us. And so if we don’t like the reaction, if we don’t, you know, if we’re not feeling good and we don’t like the thoughts that we’re thinking about that thing, we can change it. It’s amazing.
Jean: The good news. Yeah.
Christy Whitman: It is. Yeah.
Alison: Right. Yes it is. Yeah.
Christy Whitman: I remember years ago, my husband, um, when I first met him… he lived in, he’s Canadian and I met him and, and when I was in the States and then I moved to Canada in Montreal with him. And he was always so resistant about paying taxes and almost, almost so that it’s like he knows he needs to, everybody needs to right.. it’s like death, right? We’re all going to go through it and no one gets out of this alive. Unfortunately.
Jean: I used to have a teacher that said, there’s only two things you have to do, pay taxes and die.
Alison: That’s right.
Christy Whitman: Very true and another thing that’s also consistent is that there’s always transition. We’re always in transition. Right. It’s like nothing ever stays the same. We’re always in this place of transition. So if we know these things right, but one of them is taxes. We have, we need to pay that. It’s important. But the perspective of — I make all this money.. How come I… You know, it reminds me a Friends episode, when she gets her first job and she opens up her paycheck… She’s like, whose FICA? Why’d they take all my money, right? You know, that’s a perspective of like, hey, how come i gotta pay all this, right? Or there’s a different perspective of, when you pay taxes this goes to, you know…it’s your protection, it goes to fire, it goes to police, it goes it goes to the nice roads. We had a child that went into the hospital and, you know, I didn’t have to pay anything because we lived in Canada. I mean, it paid everything. It was like we had to pay a lot of taxes. But for me, it was like, I am so happy to pay these taxes because they took care of my son, right? so it’s a different way… If we have resistance on anything, it could be mother in law, it could be money. And and a lot of people do, that resistance creates our reality. But if we if we make nice, you know, if we’re kind of pushing a reset button almost on, um, you know, everything we learned about money or money bad, you know?. Then then we could create our own energetic connection. Then we create our own quantum field, our own reality, then our own, our own, you know, life we’re living.
Alison: So when you just said that, like, like it’s interesting because I think people think sometimes, um, about the house, the purse, the relationship… But you might be in a relationship right now, that is challenging. And you’re, saying you can switch that.
Up, even if the other person doesn’t participate.
Christy Whitman: Indeed.
Alison: And the way to do that is fill in the blank.
Christy Whitman: Connecting with your own energetic connection, connecting with yourSelf. Because what happens when we are relating with others, and the way we learn is, I do something and mommy goes, yay! Right. We look for reactions of, if I do this, mom’s not happy, if I do this… if I get good grades, mom’s happy– if I get bad grades…, you know, or dad, you know. The conditioning, the conditioning starts, and we get very cemented in our learning desk, phone, computer. Right? So we don’t have to relearn these things, but we get concrete in the up, down, left, right, very polarized, good, bad, right? And so in that, we are always looking out for, am I okay, am I good, am I beautiful, am I, you know worthy, am I enough? What’s everybody else’s reaction is? Am I being provided for? Well, maybe I don’t have what they have? Maybe I’m not enough? We we make it very personal. As if, well, I get, you know, I did everything I could, and I worked as hard as I could, and I still didn’t get it. So maybe I’m not supposed to be wealthy, or maybe I’m not supposed to be successful. Right? So we’re constantly looking out at how, let me survey everybody else to see how I am.
Christy Whitman: What we need to start doing is understanding that, the idea that if they change or if the money was different, or if my outer thing would change, then I would be okay or happier. Fill in the blank. Right? So the alignment with our own multidimensional self. Right. And that’s even like the four bodies that we have here. Four bodies okay. You got your mental body, so your mind, you have your emotional body, the physical body which is a reflection of the mental and the emotional body. And then your energy body which is a reflection of all three. So you know, when we could be like, and we see I see this all the time as a coach, like someone spoke, I’ve been focusing on, you know, on being positive but like they’re angry inside, you know, or like that one girl, I’m like, I could see us being married, i see our kids, i have their names. Where is he? You know, that level of just something’s kind of off, right? so in that scenario, if he would come, then I would be okay, and like with your friend, she got okay. And then he came into her experience. When we have resistance to someone that we’re in a relationship with, we have some kind of history with them. Right? We think we know they’re going to react this way. We start putting them in a box. We start thinking of them as this way, and as we do that, we see them, (I like to think of it as looking at an outfit… I love fashion, right? As you can tell from my book, when you look at an outfit, you might go shoe to tope, or you might go top to shoe, right?) When we put someone in a box, it’s like we’re looking at their shoes and we don’t go up further, you know, we don’t see something that’s a full experience. We just put, we only see a very limited view of them based on our own past experiences. And so it becomes a they are this way. And that’s why it’s really important not to put labels on someone, because I hear this and it’s kind of dangerous. And my, you know, people say, well, he’s such a narcissist, okay, tat person is now in a label and they can’t ever change, right? Right. That he is the most selfish person I have ever met. You know, he’s a he’s oh, he’s a teenager. I hear that all the time. I have to catch myself too, because I’m like, I have two teenage boys. He’s really grumpy right now. Always being a teenager. Right. Well, my other one’s not grumpy. So what is teenage? What does teenager mean, right? Even questioning that, but that your own alignment with your own mind, your own emotions, your physical body and your energy body? Now you’ve got a focal point within yourself. And if you’re feeling good and you’ve got good thoughts about the other person, and you’re connecting with the total part of them, the soul part of them, right? The energy part of them, the parts that remembering the positive aspects and the reasons why you either fell in love or were attracted to them or wanted to be in a partnership or the good qualities, right? I even, as a trick as my oldest son, I have I took a baby picture and I put it in a drawer in the kitchen because as he’s having some of his mood swings, I open it up and I look at the baby and I’m like, oh my God, I love him.
Christy Whitman: And then I’ll close the door back. You know, just a reminder because I need to put a boundary to not talk to me like that. Even though you’re grumpy, you know, it’s like, I don’t need to be talked to like that. And then I have to remind myself, okay, reset button. You love him, you know? So. B it’s alignment with ourselves. I have completely changed my relationship with my mother. Um, where it used to be just totally critical. And now she’s my biggest cheerleader. And I will tell you, she’s she’s she’s the 88 year old woman has never done any type of energy work, personal development therapy, doesn’t understand coaching or law of attraction or any of that kind of stuff. So if our relationship can be changed by one, you know, there’s lots of evidence of that.
Alison: So you have baby pictures of lots of people in that drawer. Yeah. hahah
Christy Whitman: No, just my son. hahah…That’s the junk drawer. The stuff with all these things.
Alison: Right. Exactly,
Jean: I love that. Yeah. I mean, it’s it’s so true about our perception, right? you know, like, shifting our perception about a situation–
Christy Whitman: Anything or everything. Yeah.
Jean: So you really champion and I do too, getting an alignment with your higher Self How? If you had to share, Christy, and please do, what are two ways someone can get centered rather than feel scattered?
Christy Whitman: I love that. Yes. Thank you for asking that. So meditation, I mean meditation is one of those tools… that it’s like go into the gym, pick lifting up weights. If you do it consistently, it’s going to, it’s going to affect you. Right. It’s going to your body will change. Meditation is the same way, when you do it consistently, when you’re in struggle, when you’re in a place of resistance and surrendering it and going into a quiet place, that will help you go from such a outer, um, focused expression, to an inner and, you know, really coming into the interior of who we are, it’s just an essential, it’s essential key piece of, at least from my life, that’s what changed my life, and all of my clients lives, too, over the, you know, all these years. That the second piece for me, though, is really, um, energy mastery. And that’s one of the things that the council and I teach, and it could be as simple as changing a word. Right? If you say, I can’t or I miss or, you know, a lot of I’ll try or, you know, these words that are, um, low vibration, that constrict energy. Mastering your energy could just be, you know, changing from I can’t do that right now or I just can’t handle it to, you know, i choose not to handle this anymore. I choose not to have it this way. I choose to make it different. Right? It’s very different than feeling like a victim and I can’t.
Christy Whitman: So energy mastery processes are important and one of my absolute favorites is literally like when you wake up in the morning and you have a conscious awareness that, okay, um, I’m alive. There’s a day, you know, that moment where you’re like, okay, um. Not just jumping into the day, but just sitting into the energy and feeling as if your soul is literally all around you. So because it is, and, you know, feeling, I like to feel as if I’m in my soul’s bubble. So like five feet above, five feet below, in front to the sides. And I just like to feel that, like, almost like I’m just nurtured and comforted in that energy because that’s, that just starts a nice soothing, you know, it’s like pushing a reset because it is, it’s like a push pushing a but most people go, oh no, I don’t have enough time. I didn’t get enough sleep. I didn’t, you know, we immediately get into that thinking lack. Right. So this kind of just gives a moment to just stay present and then connect with your soul and then, um, to turn up the volume on that a little bit, too, is that your soul represents every vibration, nothing lower than compassion because it doesn’t connect with negative emotions at all. It’s a completely just human experience that the soul just goes, okay, you’re on your own even though it’s still there. We have a different level of focus and awareness.
Christy Whitman: So now, it’s as if it’s it could be behind us, but we don’t see it. Right? It’s like the sun, we know it’s going to come out tomorrow, but at night time we don’t see it. We know it’s there. Right. But um, but it’s, you know, it’s it’s remembering when you’re in a dark place or in your negative place that bring in the, the the energy of compassion of your soul that will help neutralize you. But if you’re waking up and you’re feeling good, you’re connecting with your soul. Today you might go today, i want to feel joy, right? Today I’m intending, you can play every day, you can choose a different energy, essence, vibration. It’s like today, I would just will feel joy. Everything i’m going to think about, everything, i’m going to speak about, everything…. I’m going to visualize, I’m going to appreciate, and I’m going to be in this vibration of joy. And then, I like to imagine that my soul just becomes that bubble of joy. And then it’s like I’m floating in joy all day long, or freedom or passion or, you know, whatever I choose for the day. So that’s, and the fun thing about that is that, you know, if you feel like a dip during the day, it’s like, oh, turn up the volume again, right? Reconnect back to the soul, like really reconnect and calibrate back to that energy, tune back into it. So that’s a couple processes.
Alison: That’s beautiful, and I have to say, Jean knows this, you’ve been so great to talk to because, i had the conundrum, as we talked earlier of like sick mind, sick body… You’re responsible, you got to stay on it. But I love what you’re saying, because what I’m hearing is you’re allowed to have the human experience. You’re allowed to have all the emotions. Just don’t live there.
Christy Whitman: Yes.
Alison: You know, you can have it all and you can grieve. You can be disappointed. You can be afraid. You can doubt. Just don’t live there. Acknowledge, feel compassion and pick your bag up and move away.
Christy Whitman: Exactly
Alison: And that makes me feel very confident, that I can do that. You know, and I was thinking when you were just talking, another friend of mine was talking about an argument that they had with a loved one, and they were arguing. And I was thinking, how funny would it be if they said to that loved one, I’m in such joy that you can express yourself this way. Do you know? hahah
Christy Whitman: It Neutralizes everything.
Alison: Like I think that’s a great thing to just, I’m going to feel X today and just carry it through and see where it takes you.
Christy Whitman: Yes…Trust yourself, Don’t trust me. Try it. You know, do it yourself because…
Jean: that’s right..Try it or deny it.
Alison: Right.
Christy Whitman: Exactly… And you know, I got to say this, this was a really big, big deal for me. I remember during 2020 when everything was in lockdown, we were all locked down and I was bringing food to my mom and dad. My mom and dad have always had a very loud, uh, very arguing kind of relationship. And so, my mom answers the door and she’s literally yelling at my dad, who’s now in the next room as I’m, like, handing her the food. And I’m thinking to myself, this is going to be short. Yeah. So so I’m like, okay, I’m going to come in and give you the food. So I come in and he’s yelling at her and she’s yelling at him. And normally my old MO would try to be like, okay, go back. You know, like play referee, go back to your neutral corners.
Alison: Right, right.
Christy Whitman: And I just kind of sat down at the table and I was hearing them and I just let myself feel compassion because these are two people that have spent, you know, six decades together at this point. And, you know, this is the way they show love. And so, I was just letting myself feel compassion. And then I was feeling compassion for the younger part of me that couldn’t escape that, right. I was just letting myself feel that compassion for my inner child. And then, as I was doing that, I was remembering her being like, someday I’m not going to have something like that. Someday I’m going to have. And so then my attention then went into appreciation and gratitude for my husband and my relationship. And then I started thinking about my boys and the kind of environment they live in, and what they get to see between my husband and I and as all of this is happening, the two of them stopped arguing. They calm down, I know, came and sat next to me at the table, and I stayed there for almost about three hours. And we had to this day, that was one of the most deep conversations I have had with. And now my dad passed, uh, May 1st this past year. Um, and I went through this whole grieving process, right, as we all do. But it’s like, that allowance of all, I go through it quicker because I allow myself to feel it. But to this day, that conversation and, um, fond memories we brought up and, you know, the level of conversation and connection that will be a moment that forever changed my life because I didn’t have to fight it. I just let, I allowed and I let myself be neutral to what was happening and that neutralizing and then getting into that appreciation, I created that energetic vibration. I didn’t allow myself to get pulled down by it.
Alison: That’s fantastic. Because, you know, there were two Christy’s, the first Christy trying to fix it. Yeah. You know, and arguing. No no, no. Stop. She didn’t mean that. Wait. Sit down, sit down. And then the Christy who was peaceful. Yeah. And just allowing.. I love that. I’m going to do that. Do you want to move in? Come on in.
Christy Whitman: I hope everybody does this because it does, it just changes the world when we do this.
Jean: You know that’s how powerful we are, that’s how powerful our souls are. When we love without any, um, judgment– rather than thinking or saying, she shouldn’t be asking that. That’s too loud. Right. You came in just non-judgmental – neutral, and it was like letting the love in…
Alison: letting the love heal it.
Christy Whitman: But it’s true. When you’re in that energy of compassion, you’re not in criticism or judgment. It’s devoid of that, you know? And that’s where even within ourselves, if we can learn self compassion, that’s the biggest opportunity that all of us have. Instead of, you know, I like to say, instead of, you know, taking the beating stick and continuing to beat ourselves up for something we should have done different or didn’t do, or, you know, something we have no control over changing now. We’re still beating ourselves up. Instead of that, put down the beat stick and, you know, pick up the magic wand and start going, all right, what do I what do I want to create? You know, like a fairy godmother. I want to create joy. I want to create love. I want to create connection. You know, it’s the choice. We’re using this mechanism anyway. So we could either use it in our favor or we can use it against us. But either way, we’re using it.
Jean: So. Right.
Alison: Thank you so much. You’re you’re so fantastic.
Jean: You so are. You deserve all the praise. And you have gotten a lot of praise, but you so deserve it. Christy, your book is so helpful. Wherever you are in your conscious evolution, this book will speak to you. And I could talk to you all afternoon.
Alison: Yeah, I want to go to lunch with you or something.
Christy Whitman: Yeah, let’s do it. I’d love to.
Alison: So thank you so much.
Christy Whitman: Thank you so much for having me. Appreciate you both a great day.
Alison: You too. Bye bye.
Jean: Bye.
Alison: I thought she was fantastic and she answered so many questions and she was so present. And really, it was great, wasn’t it?