Brave Face Not Required: Three Steps to Cope with Transition

Guest contributor Cheryl Farrell finds a metaphor for life in temporary housing.

Many of life’s changes come with an uneasy transition period—that state of limbo between where we are now and where we end up. Even the changes we want to occur have this unnerving stage. My wedding engagement decades ago is an example! 

In the past, I’ve fantasized about Samantha Stephens’ magic on the TV sitcom Bewitched. With the twitch of her nose, she could instantly alter her situation. This avoids the in-between suffering, learning, and growing stuff during a transition. Unfortunately, with no TV special effects, we must somehow cope with reality.

My Cousin Harold

In fall 2018, my 71-year-old cousin Harold was living in one of his two vehicles near a public park. An educated man, he fell on hard times and chose a nomadic life. He refused support from family members. His choices exacerbated chronic health problems that led to his death. 

I’m now the executor of Harold’s estate. I often wonder if the prospect of moving toward the unknown overwhelmed him to the point of cocooning in dire circumstances. What if he could have twitched his nose and immediately appeared in interim housing with a hot meal? I don’t mean to brush aside mental issues that kept him stuck, but there was help available.

Transition to Tiny Houses

I recently visited an open house at Hope of the Valley Tiny Home Village in Southern California. The organization’s mission is to “prevent, reduce and eliminate poverty, hunger and homelessness.” Their services are grounded in a deep respect for human dignity.

Tiny Homes in several “villages” is an innovative solution to a humanitarian crisis. The mini units are outfitted with practical housing features and social services are provided. Despite these benefits, I suspect some individuals are slow to make the adjustment—like my cousin.

Reluctance to move toward change is not unique to the unhoused. It shows up in our relationships, employment, fitness regimen, finances, and more. How can we get through the limbo stage with hopeful resolve? I offer three suggestions.

Three steps forward